$20 GOTW & Lost Classics: Geometry Wars (Xbox 360) and Silent Bomber (PS1)
$20 GOTW: Geometry Wars
This week, I’m gonna do a little something different. Remember all those games like Robotron, Space Invaders, and Galaga where you didn’t play to see some 45 minute ending or unlock a whole bunch of stuff? All you played them was to beat the highest score. Well, Bizzare Creations’ Geometry Wars is just that. You play it for the challenge, and it’s addictive. It began life as a hidden feature of Project Gotham racing, but evolved into something more. This update adds in flashier graphics and music, while keeping the gameplay simple. As a ship, you try to survive as long as you can against an onslaught of enemy polygons. The left analog stick is used for moving, while the right is used for shooting, a’l’a smash TV. You can even play your own soundtracks while playing it. Check it out, it’s available on the marketplace for only $5. (400 points to be exact.)
Lost Classics: Silent Bomber (PS1)
In the late years of the PS1, Bandai released a game that, while it captures the essence of what we love about classic gaming, it also updates it with a clever twist. You play as Jutah, a man running from the demons of his past while by attempting to save the world from a rogue warship. It’s a top-down shooter, but instead of blasting at enemies, you plant bombs on them and detonate them. This game play turns what would have been an average shooter into something totally different from the norm. The setting and detonation of bombs allows for a new layer of strategy. Also, it’s pretty fun and sadistic to plant bombs on moving targets, even if they are just robots. When you get tired of the vs mode, there is a 2-player vs mode you can play. This game is pretty rare, so if you manage to find a copy, do yourself a big favor and pick it up.
Why video games are better than women (for shits and giggles)
Inspired by ihatewomen.com’s “Why beer is better than women”, as well as similar posts by women made against men, here is something I came up with. I’m not dissing all women or any one female, but ladies, if the shoe fits, WEAR IT.
Lets look at the comparisons
Video Games: Always within arms reach when I want them.
Women: Seldom return calls and emails, gotta wait a month for their schedule to clear up in order to spend a few hours with them, and then hope they don’t back out at the last minute or stand you up
Video Games: Don’t mind if I want to have sometime alone to myself.
Women: Accuse me of cheating whenever I want time alone, but then demand that I give them the same. (gotta love double standards)
Video Games: Don’t tell me I’m not their type because I’m too _________ or I’m not ________ enough
Women: That’s all I ever hear from them.
Video Games: The only time you have to compete with other guys is on Xbox Live, Wii Connect, or PSNr.
Women: Constantly flirt around with other dudes, and you have to worry about them running off to be with some other guy or cheating on you.
Video Games: Don’t care about what kind of car you drive, how much money you have, weather or not you’re some ultra muscular athletic bodybuilder, what skin color/ethnicity you are, or any other materialistic, shallow B.S.
Women: That’s pretty much all they look for. Goldiggers.
Video Games: They only time you have to spend money on them is when you buy new games or accessories.
Women: You gotta pay for dinner, movie, hotel room, gas, condoms, cigarettes, and everything else without expecting anything in return.
Video Games: Are relaxing and provide hours of stimulation and entertainment
Women: Provide nothing but drama, heartbreak, and bullshit.
Now I know Videogames can’t have sex with you (At least you don’t have to worry about STDS, pregnancy, or child support), buy you gifts, take care of you when you are sick, or make you dinner, but when you have no one to do it for you right now, It doesn’t make a difference.
They can’t tell you they love you either, while I’ve had several women say that to me. Obviously they didn’t mean it that much though, so that doesn’t make much of a difference either.
Okay, now don’t get mad, this is just for fun. Besides, you could switch it around and say the same things about men too.
Lost Classics Special: Good Batman Games
My article on goodbatman videogames is over at Powet. Rather than C&P the whole thing here and re-upload all the pics here again, just click the link here, and tell them Jacknife sent you.
$0 GOTW: Dead to Rights (Xbox, GC, PS2, PC)
Sorry I’m late this week fans. I had a few job interviews and whatnot, but here I am. This week’s $20 GOTW celebrates America’s love affair with 80’s action movies. You know, the kind with one man against a crime syndicate, shooting up a whole bunch of $!#t. Dead to rights was a game that came out in the second year of the Xbox’s life cycle. What’s surprising about it is that it was made by Namco, an Japanese company. At the time, they had Americanized action down pat. It would be released on PS2, Gamecube, and PC several months later with new features such as the ability to bypass some of the more annoying minigames. You play as Jack Slate, a former cop out to clear his name and avenge his father’s death. Your quest for revenge takes you throughout Grant City’s slums all the way to the top of it’s criminal empire, as crooked cops, businessmen, foreign white slavers (yes you read that right), and even the mayor are wrapped up in the conspiracy. It implimented the popular “bullet time” gameplay device, something which would be whored out in several other games. Also of note were the cool disarm moves, where with a button combination and quick reflexes, you could disarm an opponent and kill him with his own weapon. Your canine friend Shadow also helps out in some of these sequences, hitting up an opponent and taking his weapon for you to use. As mentioned before the game uses several minigames to keep the action from getting stale. These minigames involve disarming bombs, participating in boxing matches, and even a gallery-shooting level. It was followed up with a rather dissappointing sequel last year, and a planned spinoff, “Grant City Anti-Crime”, was cancelled altogether. Even so, if you love all out balls-to-the wall shooting, you can’t go wrong with this. It may not reinvent the wheel, but damn if it ain’t fun.
Wake your lazy ass up this Saturday!
Becuase kent BSR O.Gs is on from noon until 2pm online at www.kentbsr.com. If you want to hear some quality urban music, including classic soul and old school hip hop, set your alarm clock. It’s not even that early in the morning for crying out loud! You’ll still have plenty of time to sleep in!
Remember, noon until 2pm every saturday until the end of the semester at www.kentbsr.com.
3306723913 for the request line or IM kentbsrradio on AOL instant messenger.
Pro-Life, Anti-Abortion, fuck it, call it what it is.
More political ranting for ya, this time on something that seems to be a very big issue to voters, even bigger than the fact tuition is going up and schools are closing down. Hell, it’s even bigger than the fact that our senior citizens are paying obscene prices for thier medications, but I digress. That’s right, abortion! (The other big issue being gay marriage, but I’ll hit that another time.) The subject of abortion is never easy to discuss. People who call themselves “Pro Life” see it in very black and white terms (abortion is murder), while Pro-choicers look at different viewpoints in the situation. No one wants to get an abortion, but the reality is that things happen that are beyond the woman’s control. What is the mother’s life is at risk? What about victims of rape and incest? Are “Pro-lifers” gonna stand behind various social programs that more disadvantaged mothers will need to raise the children they fought so hard to ensure thier birth? And why should life or death decisions be in the hands of people who don’t know what the single mother is going through.
You can’t say nothing bad about massah!!!
Allhiphop.com reports that Kamikaze of the group “Crooked Lettaz” (with rapper/producer David Banner) was banned after making comments about President Bush during his preformance at Millsaps University’s sexual awareness week. The Young Republican group there threw a little hissy fit after Kamikaze dissed thier patron saint, even sending him a letter.
“While the students at the college rightfully supported sexual awareness week at the college…some were treated to no other than a tacky, senseless and an absolutely astonishing, explicit blasphemy of the sitting President of the United States; an act that represented the worst that Millsaps College could offer to its students and alumni that were present, wanting to enjoy an evening of the performing arts. The Student Body Association and the Socializing Activities and Performing for Students Board (S.A.P.S.) has no use for your shameful, adolescent and worthless view point of our leader and therefore will not be supporting any more visits made by you to our campus.”
The bolded out part is the funniest. So I have 1 question for these people, as well as any conservative republicn. If Kamikaze were to say these things while a democrat is in charge, would his viewpoints still be “shameful, adolescent, and worthless”? (Don’t everybody answer at once now.) As far as “explicit blasphemy” is concerned, GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES. Bush isn’t your father, he isn’t my father, he isn’t my boss, nor is he god. He is simply a president that I didn’t even vote for. If I wanted to talk shit about him, I have every right to do so. If I want to call him a RETARDED, AWOL, DRAFT DODGING, COKE SNIFFI FUCKTARD, then I will, and you can’t do anything about it. This is my blog and I can say whatever the fuck I want.
Okay, look. I’ll show Bush as much respect as you showed Clinton while he was in office. (I was no fan of him either, but we were much better off then than now.)
On a side note, Crooked Lettaz had a dope album back in 98/99 called Grey Skies. if you come across it, check it out.
$20 GOTW: Warioware: Touched (Nintendo DS)
In 2003, Nintendo released Warioware Inc, a bizzare and unique pacakge unlike anything seen so far on the Game Boy Advance. It was a collection of ‘microgames’, short games that were to be completed in a few seconds. These games included jumping over a moving vehicle, dodging arrows, wiping the snot from a nose of an anime girl, and even excerpts from classic Nintendo games. There was nothing like it, and still isn’t. When the DS was announced, I suspected that there would be a version of Warioware which would take full advantage of the system’s capabilities, and sure enough, here it is.Warioware touched makes use of the stylus and microphone for an all new and bizzare collection of minigames. You use the stylus to cut up food, unroll toilet paper, put out fires using a statue of a urinating child, and other bizzare activities. Each set of games is grouped according to thier main function. For instance, Jimmy’s games involve rubbing, while Mona’s involve quick cutting motions. You unlock more stuff throughout the game, including more minigames, and ‘toys’ which show off fun little things you can do with the DS. For those looking for something unique, you can’t go wrong with this. Also, check out Warioware twisted on GBA, and Warioware smooth moves comming soon to Wii.
Lost Classics: Axelay (SNES)
Sure you know about the Gradius series, but what do you know of Konami’s other shooter, Axelay? This SNES shooter showcased some cool mode-7 effects, awesome stages, and had a catchy soundtrack. Stages in the game were both side-scrolling and horizontal, and there were some kick-ass boss fights, such as the lava man shown on the cover. You could select you weapons at the beginnng of each level, although some of them had limited ammo. Some of the people who worked on this game left to form Treasure, which produced the cult classic Gunstar Heroes. Not a whole lot else to say about this game, so check out the ROM, or pray that Konami brings it to Wii’s virtual console.
Hustlin Saga Update
Work is comming along slowly but surely on my PC RPG, Hustlin Saga. I just finished the intro on the game, and I’m planning out the missions. Soon I’ll post up some screenshots to let you see what I’m working on. If you haven’t done so already, download the teaser demo from http://www.personal.kent.edu/~wtalley/hustlinsagademo.htm, and hit me up with some mission ideas.
For those wonder what the hell I’m talking about, you take control of the OG scrap lo as he is involved in the middle of a drug war. Sell coccaine, weed, extasy, and other products in order to become the king or the hustlers.
