Handy dandy guide to shooting down arguments against gay marriage

June 21, 2006 at 5:39 pm (conservative bitchslapping, GLBT issues, Politics)

Here are some arguments you’ll see time and time again against gay marriage, and here is how to refute them. By the way, I’m straight, just not narrow.

1. But the bible/Koran/torah/ (insert holy book here) says…
Rebuttal: Well the separation of church and state clause of the first amendment protects us from that.

1b. But it’s not in the constitution! It doesn’t say it anywhere!
Rebuttal: Yes it does, in the first amendment. Not using those exact words. Besides, SOCAS is a good thing. Not only does it keep religion from interfering with government, but it also keeps government from dictating how you practice your religion.

(Note: There are a million ways to debunk the religious argument but this is the most direct)
2. But marriage always has been 1 man and one woman! America will be uncomfortable having to adjust to a new social norm!
Rebuttal: And your marriage will still will be if you so choose. Only it can also be between two women or two men if the party in question so desires. And what is the big deal about gay marriage? How will it affect you? It’s not too much of a new social norm. America is a progressive society which has always adapted to new social and cultural changes, such as cars, television, and the internet. If not for these changes, we’d still be hunting animals in Africa. Besides, when segregation was ended, there were people uncomfortable with the fact that blacks were able to use the same water fountains and restrooms, go to the same schools, and sit on the same sections of the bus as them.

3. But why can’t I marry my car/fiancée’s corpse/dog/ (insert imamate or non human object here)?
Rebuttal: Because they can’t sign a legal contract stupid. If I was against gay marriage, I would ask people to stop using this argument because it makes us look dumb.

3b) so why can’t I marry a relative, or a child? Or more than one spouse?
Rebuttal: But if you let a barber vat your hair, who’s to say he won’t try to cut open your scalp? And therein lays the problem with the slippery slope argument.

3c) I only think of terms of black in white. Please explain that to me.
Disregarding the moral arguments against these things, they are all different from gay marriage. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. As for polygamy, I personally see nothing wrong with it, but it’s just that not enough people have made a big enough deal about it.

4. What about the children?
Rebuttal: What children?

4a) the ones they will want to adopt!

Rebuttal: What about them? They will go through life knowing they have two gay parents instead of two straight ones. It’s not like they are doing anything straight parents wouldn’t do. Besides, what’s worse? Two gay, loving parents or two abusive straight parents?

4b) my children who will be exposed to this!
Rebuttal: So how will they be exposed? What are they doing in front of your kid that you don’t do in front of him? Kids today don’t care about what sponge bob has in his square pants; let alone what Adam’s doing with Steve. It’s you guys who have the hang ups.

5. THEY ARE FORCING THEIR AGENDA ON US!
Rebuttal: The only agenda here is the one you created trying to deny them their rights. Same as the civil rights movement and the women rights movement.

6. But you can’t compare being gay to being a minority! Being gay is a lifestyle choice!
Rebuttal: No one is comparing the two. If you notice however, the struggle for gays is the same as the one for blacks. Speaking of lifestyle choices, Religion is also one. Which brings me to….

7. We can’t give the gay’s special rights!
Rebuttal: They aren’t asking for special rights, just the same ones you have. Besides, veterans and troops get special rights, as do college students, religious groups, and even prison inmates.  And another thing, by asking to keep marriage exclusive for straights, and if being straight is a choice by your logic, then aren’t you asking for special rights for being straight?

7b. But Religious groups are constitutionally protected.
Rebuttal: As are all American citizens.

8. The purpose of marriage is to have children! If gays are allowed to marry, this will hurt our population!
Rebuttal: First of all, if less than %5 of the American population were allowed to get married, then you mean to tell me that the other 95 percent can’t pick up the slack? Secondly, marriage is more than having children. You don’t even have to be married to have children. And by this logic, senior citizens and sterile people shouldn’t be allowed to be married as well. And don’t get me started on the single parents.

9. Gay marriage will ruin our society!
Rebuttal: You realize you said the same thing about Elvis, rock and roll, rap music, television, and a bunch of other things, yet we’re still around right? Stop being so frickin paranoid.

10. But gay marriage will ruin our sacred institution!
Rebuttal: Anymore than our high divorce and spousal abuse rates, reality TV weddings, Britney spear’s little jaunt (as well as several other celebrity weddings), Vegas drive in weddings, and music, movies, and books which make it seem cool to cheat on your significant other? I doubt it. If anything, ‘our sacred institution’ can use their help.

10b. but it will ruin my marriage.
Rebuttal: Oh well, I don’t know what to tell you. If your marriage is so fragile that the thought of two gays getting married is enough to ruin it, then perhaps the problem isn’t the gays. Chances are you shouldn’t have been married in the first place.

10c. But the institution will be so messed up, I feel I won’t be able to marry!
Rebuttal: So how exactly does gay marriage affect you anyhow? Never mind that, who would want to marry a tightwad sexually repressed bigot like you anyway?

11. But this will spread HIV, herpes, syphilis, etc.
Rebuttal: So what STDs can gays get that straights can’t? Just as many, (if not more) straights can catch these diseases as gays can, so what makes gays any more susceptible to a STD than a straight? If anything, gay marriage will curb the spread of these diseases by encouraging monogamous relationships.

12. I HATE F@GS! I HOPE THEY ALL BURN IN HELL WITH MATTHEW SHEPARD!
Rebuttal: If I was against gay marriage, I would ask people to stop saying stuff like this. It makes it look as if we are out to get them rather than a desire to preserve our institution.

13. (Insert fecal or anal joke here)
Rebuttal: Again, if I was against gay marriage, then I would ask people to stop talking like this as well. It makes us look dumb and immature.

14. But this will cause the world to hate us!
Rebuttal: First of all, the world hates us for more legitimate reasons than whom we let marry who. If you open your eyes and do a little research, then you find that the reason why the world hates us is because of our foreign policy, among other things. Secondly, as if you, Mr. ‘BOMB IRAQ SCREW THE FRENCH AND SCREW MUSLIMS’ care about world opinion of us anyway.

15. Gays will influence our children to be gay!
Rebuttal: More paranoia at work. If this is true, then how come most, if not all gays, come from straight famlies? Being around gays won’t make you any more gay than being around basketball players will make you a fan of basketball.

16. But activist judges are the real enemy!
Rebuttal: Nice try, but do you feel the same way when an ‘activist judge’ like scalia, reinqhurst, O’Connor or something else makes a ruling that’s in your favor (like banning abortion)? And what is an activist judge anyway? Someone who makes rulings you don’t agree with? What if a ‘non-activist judge’ were to allow gay marriage?

17. But gays already have the right to marry. A gay man can marry a gay woman.
Rebuttal: That’s like saying during the separate but equal era that blacks had the right to use the bathroom and water fountain assigned to them.

18. it’s illegal!
Rebuttal: Now there is a sound argument for keeping something illegal.

19. it’s not natural!
Rebuttal: First of all, who are you, or any of us to decide what’s natural and what isn’t? Secondly, if homosexuality is against nature, then so is war, chopping down trees, and pollution, yet I don’t see you making a deal about these things.

19b. it’s not moral!
Rebuttal: Who are you to decide what’s moral and what isn’t? If gay marriage isn’t moral, then neither is using false, err misleading evidence to start wars, screwing workers to make corporate profits, and high price healthcare plans which only benefit the drug companies, yet I don’t see you up in arms about this.

20. But this will cause people to pretend that they are gay just to get married and enjoy the benefits!
Rebuttal: There are straight couples that do that now. Besides, do you think anyone would really fake homosexuality, an entire lifestyle, just for benefits?

21. The majority of America is against it. This is democracy!
Rebuttal: No it isn’t. It’s the majority deciding the rights of a few. The majority was also against freeing the slaves and giving the women the right to vote.  Democracy only works when it’s everyone’s interests being considered. This is more like 5 foxes and a hen deciding on what [or who] to have for dinner. Besides, the majority of America was also against freeing the slaves and giving women voting rights.

22. But look what happened in Norway!
Rebuttal: So how do you know that the same thing will happen here? We are a different country. Besides, Canada’s had it for over a year and they are just fine. Using your logic, our gun control laws should be as strict as those in Europe since they have less gun murders over there.

23. This is too controversial. We should end marriage period.
Rebuttal: That could work, but then everyone loses, and we shouldn’t have to do that.

24. But I can’t stand the homos! I think their lifestyle is immoral and it goes against my religion!
Rebuttal: I’m sure they think too highly of you either, but that’s part of life. America is a diverse society. If you don’t like it, go to apartheid South Africa.

25: But *sniff* I don’t want gays to marry! *sniff*
Rebuttal: Oh well, that’s life. You don’t have any valid argument against it.

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16 Comments

  1. unusualmusic said,

    LOL! This is great!!! Magnificent! I’m going to link to it.

  2. Lawsuit: Jackson Memorial barred lesbian from seeing dying partner - Page 3 - Debate Politics Forums said,

    […] as white people can marry the other white people of their choice, there’s no problem, right? 17. But gays already have the right to marry. A gay man can marry a gay woman. Rebuttal: Thats like saying during the separate but equal era that blacks had the right to use the […]

  3. Gay Hater said,

    What a JOKE! You queers are a trip! If you want the same rights that us NORMAL, STRAIGHT people have all you have to do is go get some therapy and ALWAYS make sure that the person you are dating is of the OPPOSITE SEX! Yes it just that simple! Marriage is from the bible, you know the same bible that says it’s a sin to be gay. What is the point of gays getting married? You already had premarital “sex”, you can’t CREATE your own biological children and have a family, which is one of the main reason for marriage. Marriage is so kids are able to grow up in a NORMAL, MORAL, STABLE household with ONE MOM AND ONE DAD! Crazy concept isn’t it! You people (gays) need to “grow up”! Quit trying to be different and get attention, and I say that because there is no way in H*LL anyone is born gay, you chose to be gay! More and more people are saying that their gay because it’s in the media more and put in kids heads that it’s OK. That is why there are more gays, not because more are “coming out” because of the semi OK opinion of gays nowadays! GROW UP AND ACT NORMAL IF YOU WANT TO BE TREATED / HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS THAT THE NORMAL, STRAIGHT PEOPLE HAVE!

    • Me said,

      Did you even read the article you are commenting on?

    • Gay Lover said,

      The bible actually only has 6 admonishments of gays. It also contains 326 admonishments of straight people. This doesn’t mean that straight people are less well behaved than gay people, just that they need more supervision!

    • kailei hotulke said,

      so what is normal to you? just because you are normal you get more of a reason and purpose to have a child, that more than likely is 75% of the time is not planned, and will 9 times out of 10 will be in a broken home because it wasnt meant to be and you dont stay with the mother. HOW IS THAT FAIR TO AN INNOCENT CHILD? How is it fair to you to make choices and decisions like that? How do you get to ruin their life before they are even born?
      i am an gay woman and my biggest dream is to have children of my own and have them grow up in a stable home and have everything they want just as if i was a straight woman. What cant i offer a child that you can? Who gets to tell me that i cant have children because i am a lesbian?
      just because you are a homophob doesnt mean you can just bash gay people because of how you were raised or how you were taught or told?

    • Love Is Love said,

      I pity your children. I feel bad for anyone who read your post and took it to heart. For you are an ignorant soul who is close minded and apparently unable to read. Next time you want to hate on something make sure everything you say isn’t already addressed in the current article. Congratulations on embarrassing yourself.

    • Gregg Farlinger said,

      Wow you are retarded

  4. jacknifedakilla said,

    I just love it when homophobes respond to my post. It shows that they didn’t read the article, because they respond with every point I addressed. I don’t even need to type anything to make guys like this look stupid.

  5. audreyb said,

    Wow “Gay Hater,” you are so ignorant it makes me want to cry. I am straight and you are disgracing all straight people when you post such bigoted things. I am so disappointed. What makes straight normal. There have been gay people since the beginning or time. If you say that being gay is a choice, simple logic will show you that the opposite is true, being straight is a choice. Many people make it, but that doesn’t make it better or more normal. I wish that people like you, who just wish to spread intolerant hate, would just attempt to be a nice person. What happened to God created all men as equal? Well i hope you grow up and become less ignorant.

  6. caitlin said,

    wow I just don’t get it! what are people problems? why are people so scared of gay people? I’m straight, I didn’t choose to be straight I was born that way. the same way gay people are born gay. every time I hear comments like that I feel ashamed that I’m an American. I used to have hope that things would get better but I think I’ll be better off moving to canada

  7. Newo said,

    I’m not fond of the words bigot and ignorant when fighting against homophobia. Name calling is just angry talk. Focus on the now and what we have to do to be recognized without resorting to marrying our lesbians friends 😛 I grieve for the children of GayHater but noone can force him to raise his kids the just universal way which just means regardless of what religion and political persuasion you CHOSE you can love your kid even if he/she is gay.

  8. Convinced said,

    Most of these arguments I already had in my own mind. That’s why I flipped my position from anti to pro a while back. What it comes down to is it may or may not be natural, but there is nothing anymore that is natural at all about humans anyway. So it’s just a denial of rights issue.

    One rebuttal I think should be tightened up a bit is #15, because the reply will be, “But that’s the point. We’re straight and someone ‘taught’ my son to be queer”. Also, it does seem to be that most sports fans beget sports fans. A better argument would be: Alzheimer’s patients will forget their past, their family, even their very name. But no Alzheimer patient ever forgets their sexuality. That shows you just how hard-wired it really is. Nobody “teaches” anyone anything.

    • Convinced said,

      I should clarify. Alzheimer’s patients can sometimes, in extreme cases, exhibit outlandish sexual behavior such as exposing themselves in public or accusing their spouses of infidelity, but they never forget their own sexual orientation.

  9. TheRight said,

    Well, I have a few disagreements to this actire. First off, Do you know the def. of moral? Moral means right or right of God. It’s not right becuase it is a sin and it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. If god wanted gays to get together, he wouldn’t have made it a sin.

    Second, If America wanted Gay marragies, then why is it only legal in six states? That’s more then Medical marijuana (Which has 16 states where it can be used for medical purposes.) It seems like homosexuals isnt try their hardest for gay marragies,

    America is about peace, freedom, and children, but you are forgetting one important fact that you are not wanting to share to this post.

    AMERICA IS ALSO ABOUT RELIGION!

    And I know your agurement already. (Church is not about america!)

    Well, was the laws based off the Ten commandments? Wasnt the laws based off the 7 deadly sins?

    I think yes. So when you want to make good comebacks, make better comebacks.

  10. TheRight said,

    OH and I read the first admendment. You got it wrong. The first admendment’s Establishment Clause means they can not favor one religon over antoher, so kiss your gay rights bye bye. They cant give rights to a religion or anything. They can only protect the People and the people alone. They don’t care what race or what religion. They are just here top protect rights. Not marraiges.

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